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Mar. 21st, 2002 @ 08:20 pm Ok, I took another one!
I can't stop taking them. they're so incredibly fun, oh and I was also the yellow life savor!!!


Disney Princesses
Which of the Disney Princesses are you?





You're Belle!

You are a true bookworm and dream of a life better than the simple, quiet one you lead now. Your good looks can attract the town jerks, but you manage to ignore them most of the time. Sometimes you feel like you're surrounded by idiots. So what are you waiting for? You don't need your father to be kidnapped to get out and see the world. Although you can be stubborn, you're also very compassionate and see beyond people's fa?ades.
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Mar. 21st, 2002 @ 08:03 pm I'm Kermit!
That's so cool, although I don't think I match the description, but I don't care, Kermit was my favorite and come to think of it still is!


You are Kermit!
Though you're technically the star, you're pretty mellow and don't mind letting others share the spotlight. You are also something of a dreamer.

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Mar. 18th, 2002 @ 05:31 pm He He He! That's what I thought!
I want one soooooooooo much!





You are the classic yellow squeeky toy.

Find your inner rubber ducky.
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Mar. 17th, 2002 @ 05:18 pm Nothing Else To Do!
Current Mood: optimistic
It's five on Sunday, I'm watching Sister Act II and I thought I'd procrastinate some more and not do my Algebra! I can't wait until next year when I'm living in a house and I have more than one small room to hang out in! I can't wait to have a kitchen that's not disgusting with drinking funnels in it and food that's been out on the counter for who knows how long. I can't wait to be able to sleep when I want to, to not have people drunk and screaming outside my door at all hours of the night, I can't wait to not have to take the bus every morning and worry about eating with my friends because that means that I have to wait for the buss out in the night by myself. I can't wait until next year. I just can't wait!! I guess I'd better go do some Algebra so that I can get to next year!
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Mar. 13th, 2002 @ 07:38 pm .....
Current Mood: blah
I'm procrastinating...

Mike and I are back together, I know all of you are thinking "my god, they are so pathetic, one week it's the big tragedy, and the next it's all fine and dandy" but hey, I'd rather be with him and be mellow-dramatic then not be with him. Although I haven't seen him since we've been back together, so I'm not really with him... any ways, I'm so tired, I can't sleep and I've reduced to eating about one meal a day now. I don't think that's good, but I'm just not hungry, at least I'm eating a bit??? anyway, I really don't feel like studying for my test tomorrow. I don't expect it to be bad, the first one wasn't and they said that it wasn't going to be as hard as the first on so it should be fine, if I can remember how to do everything, I'm finding that algebra is a lot of memorizing... anyway, I really don't want to study, I want to see Mike and beg for forgiveness, he's the best person in the world, I don't know why he accepted me back, I was such a bitch. and I don't even know why... I just found myself alone without Mike and couldn't stand not being with him, even if it's just the fact that I know that we will be together soon and we're not now. Not being with him was saying that we would never be together and I couldn't stand that, is that stupid?....I'm still a little confused about things, but I know that I love him. I'm hoping that the rest will gradually fall back together with time, I'm just too tired to be stressed about that, that and the fact that I have a lot of other stuff to get stressed about. ok, I'm done my non-sensical rambling now, I'll go study!
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Mar. 11th, 2002 @ 11:21 am Me.
Current Mood: confused
I am so incredibly confused, I have no idea what to do. About anything. I have no control over my feelings, one minute I'll be fine and the next I'm sobbing, and I don't know why, at least not really. I broke up with Mike this week-end, I thought I needed space, some freedom, but now, only two days after doing this, I'm not sure that that's what I want at all. The problem is that I have no idea how I feel about him. It's like, one minute I can't wait to have him in my arms, but the next I wish he would just go away and never bother me again. He is such a great guy, he understands that I need space and has agreed that for the moment, we're just friends, even though I know that that's not what he wants. I envie him, he knows what he wants. I wish someone would just tell me what I want. It would be so much simpler.
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Mar. 5th, 2002 @ 11:29 pm (no subject)
How do you know if you love someone?
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Feb. 28th, 2002 @ 06:21 pm I'm going to fail
Current Mood: distressed
The average for the physics mid term was high this semester, 41/60, so you'd think that I would pass right, wrong, I failed it, I didn't have time to do one of the questions. I never have time to finish exams. I'm not getting anything that's going on in Algebra, nor recently in Calculus. I should just join J section now and re-do the first half of the term, maybe that would help. I'm going to fail Chem mid-term, cause that's another class that's been going over my head, apart from the fact that I don't remember what we did early in the term, I won't do well on the calculus mid-term next week for the same reason. And on top of that, I have to give an oral presentation next week as well, that I really don't have time to prepare, so I'll let my group down. I don't want to bring them down with me too. But I'm horrible at public speaking, I always mumble and my sentences get all messed up because when I'm nervous I start switching words. So basically, I'm going down the drain, everything is peachy. And now I'm done complaining.
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Feb. 12th, 2002 @ 07:13 pm Valentine's Day
Up to now, about five seconds ago when Mike sent me this poem:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Just wait until Thursday,
And I'll have a surprise for you.

I wasn't particularly looking forward to Valentine's day, I mean, it's just another Thursday night when I get to do my Calculus assignment because I won't have time to do it tomorrow night owing to my physics mid-term. Mike and I won't even see each other on Thursday. So, although I was excited because this is the first Valentine's day that I actually have someone to celebrate with, I wasn't thrilled about spending another night alone working (and not being able to watch the Olympics.) And although I have no idea whatsoever what he's planning, I can feel myself looking more and more forward to Thursday! Not to mention that I got a very lovely card from Mike in the mail today!

I get to go home on Friday, I got to spend the entire week with the guy I love, and I get to go to Tremblant for a few days, what could be a better thing to look forward to?????

So for the first time in a while, I feel OK, it's a very relieving feeling, like an elephant being lifted off your chest. hehehe, mental picture!! anyway, that's all for now, I have to go study for physics so that I don't fail like I did last semester (although I was very close and above the average!!)
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Jan. 28th, 2002 @ 08:50 pm Procrastination
This is me doing it!!!

I have a physics quiz tomorrow and I really don't want to study for it, although I really need to. It's not hard or anything, everything makes sense, but you have to do problems over and over again to just get the hang of it, I whish my studying was just reading and understanding concepts... not doing problems where you have to think about the situation. So I suppose I'd better get to it, other than that I don't have anything to say really. this is me just going on and on because I don't want to go do physics...
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Jan. 23rd, 2002 @ 04:42 pm Just living (random thoughts)
I was thinking, and I realized how lucky I am to be living right now.

Most things are going well, I don't expect for life, especially university to run completely smoothly.

I'm in a great relationship, with a great guy (thanks Mike).

I'm finally realizing who my true friends are, and realizing that I should patch things up with some old ones (sorry Sabrina).

I'm doing well...
for now, but I know that some feelings will come back, I can't let that haunt me.

I should probably listen to the doctor, I've been told that that doesn't mean that I'm not strong, it means that I need help, and should get it. I can't, I just can't. I don't want to perceive myself as someone who is sick. And listening to the doctor would be admitting it. I'm not sick.

But I don't know if I'm strong enough to survive.

I don't want to keep living one day at a time, that's not sane, what about long term dreams and goals? Can't I have any? I want to.

I don't know if this is going to be public...
I don't think anyone knows about this, except someone. Thanks. you know who you are.

I just have to keep looking forward to something, next year I'll be living in a great house, with people I like, who won't be really loud every single night until 2 AM. I'll have a kitchen, and a room that's bigger than a jail cell.

Just keep looking forward, it will get better. why can't I be living with my friends now?

It will get better, I don't want to keep pretending but I have too. This brings me back to whether I should publish this.
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Jan. 21st, 2002 @ 11:22 am House Issues
Current Mood: anxious
As everyone may or may not know, a bunch of friends and I are renting a house next year. One of my friend's parents own the house. We were looking for a fifth person because, with Caroline, we were only four and there are five bedroom's in the house. I was home this week-end, it was great, and I got a call from my friend telling me that she solved our problem. She found a pair, so she decided that she will tell Caroline, who was the last person to join, that she can no longer live with us. I feel so bad, I told Caroline that she could live with us, se needed people, and now whe has nowhere to go. They all promised to help me help her find a new place to live, but I feel so guilty. I don't know what to do. I guess it's not really my fault because I really had no say in it, but maybe if I had stood up more, or if I had found someone...

But now it's too late, it's been decided.

On the up side, we chose bedrooms and I get the best one, the big one upstairs!
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Jan. 16th, 2002 @ 07:12 pm Yes, I took the drink test!
Drink me!
</a>
Which drink are you?
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Jan. 14th, 2002 @ 11:34 am The greatest guy in the World
Current Mood: grateful
I would just like to thank you, Mike, for helping me this week-end.

I appreciated more than I can say, I don't know what to do to show it.

One day at a time.
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Jan. 10th, 2002 @ 06:00 pm (no subject)
A demonstration of why I have chosen not to live with Sabrina was well played out tonight.
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Jan. 9th, 2002 @ 08:39 pm Back at Queen's
Current Mood: drained
It's a new year, a new semester, and I'm back at school! I did reasonably well in my first term (I guess) at least that's what everyone is telling me. I got a 71% average, mainly because I physics mark was very low! At least I was average in that class! I'm a little, ok a lot, home sick right now. I guess it's because I got used to eating my meals with my parents and seeing them everyday, and sleeping in my bed, and seeing Mike everyday! But it's a lot better than what it was in September. I'm getting back into the groove of things now. Although my classes are a lot harder now, I don't have to worry about labs, which, in retrospect, I spent way too much time on considering it's a pass or fail course!. I know (I'm relatively sure) where I'm living next year and with who, so that's good. I don't have to worry about looking for a place, which I'm sure would have fallen on my shoulders if I hadn't agreed to live with Heather and Heather. I think that it'll work out pretty well, I really get along with them and hang out in there room when I have a break where I can't return to West Campus. I have a little less class time this semester too, which is a very good thing and I like my schedule a lot better than last term. I'm not a morning person at all!

Mike is on the phone so I'll finish this later!!!

He's so cute!
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Dec. 14th, 2001 @ 04:54 pm I want to go home now!!
Current Mood: anxious
yup, that's what I'm feeling right now.

I can't wait to go home and see my family, and Mike. I hope I get to see my cousins too. They're so cute! I can't wait to go Christmas shopping, I can't wait to spoil my brother and Mike, and I can't wait to be spoiled! This year's holiday season is going to be so good. And I won't have any school work to do at all. I should get familiar with the technology conference I'll be attending this January, but that's fun. I can't wait to read everything I can get my hands on that. I have four days left until I go home. I wish the Chemistry exam was on Sunday, that would mean that I could go home a day early. Although I do get to go and pick up my GPA (Golden Party Armour) this week-end, but I'm not dying it purple as is customary because I don't know if I want to yet, I can always do it later if I want to. There's also the thing about ruining a very expensive jacket that I paid for out of my own pocket! I'm that much in the hole right now, but it doesn't matter, I really want that jacket!! I can't wait to go home, what am I going to do for two whole days here, I know I have to study but I'm just so sick of that right now, I don't want to anymore. aaahhhh!!!!

Only four days left!

Then it's Christmas and I get to go shopping for all my friends and family, and see all my family and friends and spend as much time with Mike as is physically possible!

:)
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Dec. 11th, 2001 @ 01:18 pm CUTC
Current Mood: cheerful
The Canadian Undergraduate Technology Conference

I applied to go as a Queen's delegate not expecting to be picked, I mean, I had nothing to say about past involvement with the University, and I put myself in the "new to technology" section because, let's face it, I don't know much about anything like that. Just because I can use a computer, it doesn't mean I have any idea of how it works! In fact, my computer is being stupid right now and I have no idea why, I'll have to go crawling to my father for him to fix it! Those are just a few reasons why I didn't expect at all to get selected to go. But I got the e-mail today, when I got up, I made it! It's going to be so great!
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Dec. 8th, 2001 @ 06:08 pm Exams
Current Mood: hopeful
I just had my Calculus exam, I'm pretty sure it went well, I think I did well. It just seemed a little too easy. What if I was so clueless as to what they were asking that I had no concept of what to do so I just did the simple thing I know how to do! It only took me two and a half hours to do it, I'm usually the last to leave never having finished a math exam since grade nine. Could it be that this exam was easier than my OAC Calculus exam? So now I have to study for geology, I hope I do well on that exam, there's just so many things to remember by heart. And then there's physics, I still don't get simple harmonic motion, and the work energy theorem. I can only fit so much in my brain! Well at least my first exam went well!
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Nov. 21st, 2001 @ 04:25 pm My Birthday
Current Mood: guess
Happy birthday to me!

It was yesterday. No one said that to me. What a great birthday it was, I got up, went to class, then came home and did homework. No one remembered, (or cared?) I guess it doesn't really matter that I'm 19 now, I don't go out and drink so apart from being able to go out and buy beer for my father now, nothing's changed. Who cares? Apparently no one.

I wish I was home, at least I had friends who remembered my birthday there, at skating, at home.
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